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A SELECTED "NORTHERN LIGHTS"
MAGAZINE ARTICLE
(from Issue #478)
Let's Pretend
by Debbie Matthews
 Let's pretend ... that you have just become a Christian. Now, a
little step further, let's pretend that there is no one else in your
entire family or community who is a Christian. What would that be like?
It means that ... your friends are not sure what is wrong with you,
so they seem to be staying away more and more. As you read your Bible,
you learn why so many things have gone wrong in your life and in your
home, and you take on a massive "clean-up" plan. But you find that
your children are slightly in shock over the changes you want to make,
and they're not so willing to cooperate.
You begin to wish that you could strike up a conversation with
someone else who would understand about this wonderful gift of salvation
that you have received ... but all you get is the same old junk being
talked about, and you really have no desire to hear it anymore.
Yes, you have Christian friends who come by when they can, and try to
keep in touch by phone, but it's just not the same as having someone
nearby. It hits you ... "I am alone in this. My family thinks I'm
expecting too much. My friends are scarce and think if they come around
that I will try to convert them." And right at that moment of
vulnerability ... knock, knock ... those old addictions -- that really
have no more power over you -- start screaming at you for all they are
worth.
So you plug your ears, but your eyes are still open as you walk close
to your temptation. But you make it on past and get back to the safety
zone of home ... yet the problems are just the same at home -- no one
understands nor appreciates the new you, and you are frustrated.
But you think to yourself, "I can do this." The problem is that
in your own strength you can't manage the hurts, the fights, the money
problems, nor the loneliness. So, even though you pray and read your
Bible (though not quite as much as before), when you hear that knock,
knock of temptation, now you only have one finger in your ear.
You make it home, but somewhat reluctantly, and you begin to wonder
what all the fuss is about. You can do what you want! You always have;
you always will. The walls go up and you are once again with your hands
free, your eyes open, and you absorb the temporary euphoria of getting
what you want. Your ears, oh they are plugged, but not by your fingers.
Your will has them deaf to the Spirit's pleas, and you are going to
run while you have the chance.
And just like the runner who can't make the last 100 yards of the
marathon, you collapse and splatter on the rough, hard pavement. You lie
there ... defeated ... ragging on yourself for failure ... mad at the
judges because this can't be fair ... mad at those who want to support
you because ... well, you don't know why -- just because!
And as you look up at heaven to scream out your anger, you see Him
... waiting with His nail-pierced hands stretched out to help you up,
hang on to you, and even carry you if necessary. While you let Him
minister to you and your wounds -- and there are many -- you begin to
realize how desperately you need to stay in this true safety zone, safe
in the arms of Jesus.
Somewhere along the lines in this story we didn't need to pretend
anymore, did we? We all know what spiritual growing pains are like, but
for many of our Native Christian friends the loneliness in their
communities -- while going through these difficulties -- make things
especially difficult. Please ask the Lord to help you remember to pray
for them.
Ken
& Debbie Matthews have served in field ministries in Quebec; and now
in Nova Scotia.
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